(1992)
Reviewed By-Paul Cooke Director : Nico Mastorakis Scripted : Nico Pastramis , Fred C. Perry & Kirk Ellis Starring : Brian Thompson , Oliver Reed , George Kennedy , Michelle Moffett , Barbara Lee Alexander , Jordana Capra , Kendall Conrad & Jose Ferrer
‘‘Dance a little , kill a little , have a barrel load of fun’’
Whenever a humanoid alien being is called for in shows like ‘The X-Files’ the producers call for Brian Thompson. He’s big and broad and tall enough to tower over most , and his presence is noticeable. How against type then to see him appear here not only as the star but the lead hero no less !. His name may not trigger the recognition bleeper with most , but once he appears its like one of those ‘where have I seen him before ?’ moments.
Built like the discarded part of an Apollo space ship that survives re-entry , dusts itself down , and gets on with business , Thompson stars as man mountain mercenary Frank Ryan. Aligned with the CIA and bred for combat. A man so adept at both unarmed combat , and fully operational with all know weaponry , he first appears with lightening quick reflexes , awakening from a siesta aboard his boat to the annoying sound of an alarm that he deftly shoots dead !. Breakfast is served up by the ubiquitous stalwart George Kennedy , he wants him to head up a mission to rescue rebel known as ’Brother’ and bring down the military dictator Major Bartos played by Oliver Reed. Frank Ryan’s job is to covertly infiltrate the dictatorship , a country about to blow itself apart under its regime. All it needs is a match to ignite it , Frank Ryan is the perfect match !.
Thompson gets to have Fun in his role for a change as he gets to ham it up as a photographer welcomed into the country along with a bevy of beauties for a fashion show. The leggy ladies are all on assignment and specially trained by Thompson , able to strike a pose and pose a lethal strike when called upon. Thompson even gets to play with some good dialogue and has several witty lines to deliver amongst the cut and thrust Action of which there is plenty. This is his worst nightmare mission as he is a chauvinistic anti hero with a rippling bicep to enforce his attitude , and firmly of the belief that in his business women are no more than Beverly Hills powder puffs.
The play off is highly entertaining as the encapsulation of ‘The Magnificent Seven’ crossed with a ‘Dirty Half Dozen’ hit’s the screen. Thompson’s character even gets to do his Yul Brynner turn as he picks out the women for the mission from various dubious establishments. Highlight has to be a tough lady he takes out of a Turkish prison just as the bitch of a prison warden is about to stub out her cigarette on the prisoners nipple. He allows the inmate to say goodbye with no holds barred. His departing line of ‘Better than a life’s supply of bitch whipping and puffy plasters’ is classic.
What Frank Ryan offers his girl gang for their freedom is a brand new name and a clean record if they do the job and manage to stay alive in the process. He trains them to kill and they learn how to become queens of the catwalk , top models with a designer label in weapons !. All spiced up with some healthy competition along the way from the blossoming ladies as they strut their stuff , and aim to be top babes with a butt load of bullets.
Oliver Reed hams it up for all his worth , all the while sporting a moustache that is so large it could feather the nest of an Eagle !. Seeing him grab Brian Thompson’s tackle and pulling him toward him to smack a man kiss on his lips is bizarrely unexpected. Thompson works hard to re-establish his babes in bed notches following this as he talks tough and plays rough , vigorously virulent in his pursuit in relieving a sexy conscript of her clothing with a sharp implement impulsively. For someone who rarely gets to play the good guy role he sure wastes no time in enjoying the role.
The rescue mission takes Ryan and his bosom buddies into a fortified jungle holding as he packs his piece and the ladies pack theirs. Ryan leads them into battle against Major Bartos and his men in order to try and extract ‘Brother’ in the cameo form of Jose Ferrer. Armed with deadly catapults , mini cross bows and dynamite thrown by a cigar chomping GI Jane , all hell lets loose in this valley of the deadly dolls. With kabooms all around Oliver Reed takes to the sky for some helicopter hi jinks , retaliating with a barrage of gun fire all done with a mighty rebel yell. Viva la ‘B’ movie revolution from Director Nico Mastorakis , in fine form here with an entertaining value for money production. Mind you its difficult to go wrong with a script that calls for , and delivers , big bangs and a booty full of babes.
Format : PAL DVD Presentation : Wide Screen Ratio Approx 1:77:1 Language : English
Film: 3.0 HIGH FIVES Picture: 4.0 HIGH FIVES Sound: 3.5 HIGH FIVES Overall: 3.5 HIGH FIVES
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