(2004/USA)
Review By Paul Cooke Director : Mark A.Z. Dippe Scripted : Simon Barrett & Scott Clevenger Starring : Tory Kittles , K.D. Aubert , China Chow & Matthew Rauch Source- Columbia Tristar PAL DVD/Wide Screen Approx 1:78:1 Format/Dolby Digital 5.1
Down in Louisiana , down in New Orleans it sure ain’t Elvis or Chuck Berry strutting to Johnny ‘B’ Goode that has got the swamp living folk all shook up , no siree , it’s a genetically enhanced snakehead fish endowed with the kinda lips that Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler would be living on the edge for !. Imagine Mick Jagger spliced with a cat fish and beefed up on steroids bought on the proceeds of a TV soap stars fitness video. This is ‘B’ movie monster fish gone schizoid , pure home view he haw greatness. Heavily dowsed in an ironic tongue in cheek giddiness , that’ll have low budget bargain bin hunters sifting in their legions once word of mouth gets out on this one.
The hard core Eighties gore and gruel crew will delight in this nature gone berserk flick , as all those deliciously bloody throwbacks from the likes of Fabrizio De Angelis and Sergio Martino come to mind. Giant alligators eating the locals , picking their teeth clean of severed limbs whilst gargling the contaminated swamp water and further enhancing their bloated genes. Well this time it’s a monster strain of cultivated fish , too big for the goldfish bowl and way past slipping down the home cistern to later flush back and take the tackle off its unsuspecting master !.
A rich business man purchases some rare Chinese snakehead fish with a design on enhancing their growth pattern with an experimental hormone , his intent to make big money but also rear a breed of super fish that he can hunt !. The snakeheads are revered in the Indo-Pacific region as being the excellence in quality for taste , and as such are highly sought by those with a rich palate to match their affluent lifestyles. The fish are also known to be highly intelligent , as well as being extremely dominant within the chain of survivalist water species. Able to eat other fish up to their own size and even known to devour their own kind !. Tampering with the gene fabric of this mighty denizen of the sea results in speeding up the evolutionary instinct of a futuristic dinosaur , unleashing a beast capable of putting human kind in a dolphin friendly supermarket can and throwing away the key !.
When a Louisiana local gets snaffled up , ala freaky fish fricassee , medical examiner Sam Rivers and marine biologist Mary Callahan get sent to investigate the gruesome event. Its not long before undertaking their lone trek on a small outboard motor boat that it becomes evident that something has a mighty appetite for flesh. A severed alligators head adorns the side reeds of the swamps river bank , almost in a direct nod of reverence to Director Fabrizio De Angelis’ 1989 ‘Killer Crocodile’ with the message that evolutionary tampering has since advanced !. They discover , with the aid of a local fisherman , a small boat that clearly has been used for aquatic experimentation. The startlingly discovered crew remain in the crafts working galley in various stages of decomposition , as the investigating duo unwittingly trigger a homing beacon switch. The Frankenstein fish progenitor business man is alerted to where his money making franchise is , having lost contact with the scientific project , and the thrill of the hunt is on. The real killer , however , lays in wait close by , and when Sam and Mary head back down stream it follows !.
Slip on the deep waders from here on in as its open season bayou body barbecue time as the fish with fangs orders in human burger with a bloody relish. With a handful of hapless swamp river residents stuck on their floating homes , without any safe means of making it to shore , the monster gums from the deep circle the water wagons. One by one the two legged folk fall prey to the killer fish in all manner of gruesome deaths. The smart creatures not only fly out of the water like flipper at the circus but come applied with a set of toothsome knashers to rival that of a killer shark. Like tossing a coin heads fly as their tails propel them in and out of the bayou water , returning with a fed belly amidst a crimson tainted stream. The sight of a mammoth gilled monster leaping out of the water , to land on a house boat and use its fins like feat to scurry along the deck to chomp on a man , is popcorn popping delight.
This is like watching a variation on the cult classic ‘Tremors’ , but taking the idea to a parallel plane where the terraforming under ground monsters now rule the waterways !. Sam Rivers stands tall as the hero of the piece whilst taking an interest in a sexy young woman , who for once doesn’t fall into the clichéd pretty face in peril role. Together they fight to survive against the ravenous beast from below , as well as contending against the egotistic gun totting business man intent on seeing the project succeed. The inevitable last stand races up more than satisfactory , in this well paced eighty minute feature. There’s still time to reel in the really big fish for a bloody battle of wits that ends with a wave of destruction.
In true ‘B’ movie brilliance just before the final credits role there is still time for a smile inducing epilogue jolt that more than hints at a sequel , and most definitely calls to mind a moment of devilish requital ala ‘Jurassic Park’. Bolt on ‘Frankenfish’ to your wants list as the monster movie has just scaled to new depths.
Film: 3.5 BITCH SLAPS Picture: 4.5 BITCH SLAPS Sound: 4.0 BITCH SLAPS Overall: 4.0 BITCH SLAPS
