(1974/ITALY)
Reviewed By-Kit Gavin Directed by Mario Gariazzo. Starring Stella Carnacina, Chris Avram, Luretia Love, Gabriele Tinti and Ivan Rassimov. Released through: Sinema Diable / Eclectic Region 0 NTSC
Danila [Carnacina], an art restorer and renowned expert on medieval religious art visits an abandoned church. There, she sees two wooden sculptures of the thieves alongside Jesus on the cross. The central crucified image of Christ is missing and was apparently sold to someone wealthy. The sculptures were supposedly created in the 15th Century by Dell’Aria for the church, which was closed and de-consecrated owing to orgies which took place there in the century previous. However, Danila, much taken with the work on the statues takes it away to her studio for further restoration. Later that afternoon, Danila is asked if she will stay behind to continue restoration of a painting, however she declines, preferring to attend her parents’ parties.
During the course of the party, with Luisa [Love], Danila’s mother, flirting in front of her lover [Tinti], a gigolo type leads him upstairs for sex. She assures him that her husband, Mario [Avram] doesn’t care. Whilst undressing, Luisa shows some scars on her stomach, lying topless on the bed in only a pair of see-thru lacy underwear. She then removes them, and allows her nameless lover to scatter rose petal on her torso, before her starts to whip her with the thorny stems. Turned on by this beating, Luisa and her lover then start making out, with Danila watching them through the Venetian blinds. Disgusted, Danila returns to the studio and sets about restoring her painting.
Whilst Danila restores the painting, the statue of the thief, who has been removed from the cross which it was bound to, starts to come alive. The wounds where it’s wrists were bound start to bleed, and the statue [Rassimov] becomes flesh and blood. Aware something is wrong, Danila turns round and notices the statue has vanished. Suddenly, she turns to confront the statue, which tears her dress off in one swift movement. It then proceeds to ravish Danila in the studio, with the cross ablaze in the corner. Danila, then seems to wake up, in a sweat in front of the picture she was restoring, believing that she has been fantasising.
Danila calls her boyfriend, Carlo, for help. They go for a drink, she has a milkshake whilst he has whisky, in a little café. Danila then returns her parents apartment, and starts to feel the effects of possession, masturbating frantically. Her parents return, discovering Danila masturbating on the bed, and scratching her own belly with her fingernails. Then, whilst doing this, and her father trying to help, Danila comes onto Mario, suggesting they have sex together. He slaps her and makes his wife call for a doctor.
When the doctor arrives, he suggests that they go for a drive in the country. Everything seems fine until a tyre blows and Danila goes for a wonder. Whilst wondering Danila happens upon a church, who’s foundations are an Etruscan temple, dedicated to the god Baal. Wondering into the church, she happens upon a ritual with the Devil (in the form of the thief on the statue) and his adepts, some deathly pale white females, are performing. One of them approaches Danila with a goblet from which she drinks. Rassimov then pins her down and crucifies her to the cross. Danila however comes round, waking up, screaming in bed at home, and both her parents come into her bedroom, and try and help her. Afterwards, Danila’s parents argue, Mario blames Luisa for his daughter’s condition, saying it her enjoyment of perverse SM games which has caused all this, saying her would rather see Danila dead than suffering.
When Danila is visited again by the doctor, as she is bearing marks of the stigmata, who initially suspected her behaviour was the result of some sort of epilepsy, now suggests specialists. The specialists arrive and suggest an exorcism, which encourages Luisa to visit a priest. Meanwhile Danila’s boyfriend Carlo pays her a visit, and Luisa happens upon her gigolo lover, who she spurns and rejects. He screams after her that she’s a whore and he’ll tell everyone about her bahavior.
A priest pays Danila a visit and she freaks out, banging her head against the bedstead. Danila’s parents take their daughter to a convent nearby, the Convent of Our Lady of Sorrow, where there is a priest, Father Zeno. Danila doesn’t take too kindly to being kept in a convent, and when she hears the nuns in the cloisters singing prayer, she freaks out and starts trashing her room. Possessing superhuman strength, she tears the grille from her room and escapes, fleeing into the village nearby, screaming with bloodied hands. The villagers eventually catch up with Danila, her face ravaged by the possession, and she is placed in the Mother Superior’s cell for her own safety.
The priest, Father Zeno [Luigi Pistilli] bearing a crucifix comes into Danila’s room trying to exorcise her. The Devil restores Danila’s looks, and she starts to seduce the priest. Zeno flees and prays for his soul, whilst beating himself with a whip until he draws blood. Later he tries to exorcise Danila again, however, this time Danila attacks Zeno with an enormous chain, whipping him hard, and mutilating his face. Completing his exorcism, which results in Danila vomiting up much green bile, and fully exorcised, Danila lives but Zeno dies. Outside Carlo confronts the cured Danila.
Based on a true story, pffff, yeah right, THE EERIE MIDNIGHT HORROR SHOW, has seen numerous incarnations for the domestic market under a wide plethora of names, from this wildly unsuitable title to THE SEXORCIST, and THE DEVIL’S POSSESSED, and it was even given a theatrical run in the States as ENTER THE DEVIL. From the sleazy synopsis above, and a cast full of familiar B-movie faces familiar to most Italian trash movie aficionados, as well as a relative newcomer in the shapely form of the sexy Stella Carnacina. Carnacina, who resembles Corinne Clery, with pouting lips and lots of kohl round her eyes, was the daughter of a tycoon and heir, who had made his fortune in the production of sausages. Character actors Chris Avram and Luigi Pistilli had both appeared in Bava’s BAY OF BLOOD, and other B-movies, and Tinti would soon pair off with his long time love Laura Gemser. Wide-eyed Lucretia Love, the wife of Mauro Parenti, makes for nice eye candy and the late Ivan Rassimov, really had no need for additional make up when it came to playing the demonic possessed statue, even though he doesn’t say a thing, he’s perfect for the role.
The film itself is a sleazy trashy masterpiece, albeit sometimes overlong in sections and much unnecessary over insistance on padding out the film (for example with Danila edging her way, slowly up, four flights of stairs to get to her parents apartment, and her quite frankly boring relationship with the equally boring Carlo. There are some really sleazy moments, such as the topless Love being beaten with roses, and Danila being raped by the statue, for which Rassimov was seemingly even prepared to participate in full on nudity. There is even some gloopy bloody gore in a nasty scene when Danila is crucified, by Rassimov, with both her hands and feet shown with bright red blood splatting out.
There is also mood and atmosphere as well, with some striking imagery, with a recurrent image of the cross burning in the background. There is an amusing scene of a bored number of individuals wriggling around in what Danila rightly describes as a "ghastly party". Why could Italian directors never shoot party scenes or discos without making them look like the most boring or ridiculous places on Earth? The musical score is sometimes quite sombre and effective made up of chanting and simplistic tones. However sometimes the English language dialogue is sometimes just too ridiculous for words. When referring to priests will to perform exorcisms, one of the "specialists" says that they are "all but non-exitant but I know one near here". Yeah, yeah". When the possessed Carnacina ties to possess the priest, stroking her legs she purrs " I know why you’re looking at me like that. You’re excited, aren’t you? So am I" and then rambles on about having ice and fire running through her body (!!). Countering this delirious dialogue are some truly boring padded out conversations, such a mind numbingly boring moment when everyone is offered coffee.
Without doubt, this release, through Sinema Diable is one of the worst releases on DVD I have ever seen. The film begins in widescreen, hardmatted but widescreen. However, once the first scene ends, the picture flips to a panned and scanned print, and thereafter remains full screen throughout. The colors are ugly, bleached and washed out pretty much throughout the duration of the film, and there is frequent artefacting and an ugly haze throughout. In fact, I wager that the film has been a direct transfer from a video cassette (and an old one at that), rather than a positive print of any sort, certainly a negative has NOT been used here. Hell, even the sleeve accompanying the DVD is ugly!
Equally so, the soundtrack, in this presentation, is extremely weak. There is hiss throughout the film underlying all the dialogue, and at times there are dropouts which renders dialogue inaudible. The film isn’t particularly well dubbed, to be honest in the first place, but this worsened when, roughly a third through the film, the dialogue is a second or so out of synch with what is actually being said. No re-mastering has taken place in anyway, shape or form, and the whole presentation is sloppy and lazy from start to finish. Finally, the disc has no extras what so ever to juice up the release, no trailer, nothing. The film, though it was never going to be in any way, shape or form a masterpiece of horror cinema none the less is imbued with a sense of fun. A shame that this DVD release is so wretched as the film is such trashy, silly fun. A real popcorn movie, best enjoyed on a rainy afternoon, or when slightly under the influence of alcohol. It is difficult to recommend, based on such little attention to detail and the hurried haphazard and lack of interest from the distributor. A shame, as it seems unlikely that the film will be released though any other companies (I hear there is a release through Alpha, but probably using the same source print) prepared to invest some time and effort into the title.
Audio: 1 BITCH SLAPS Video: 1 BITCH SLAPS Extras: 0 BITCH SLAPS Story: 2.5 BITCH SLAPS Overall: 1.5 BITCH SLAPS Discuss this review in our forum.
